Class Notes from Thursday, October 2

In today's posting:
>> Class Notes
>> Jesus Notes: When Lack of Faith was Affordable
>> Jesus Notes: Teaching Faith by Example
>> Jesus Notes: Brain Dead at Trial
>> Aesop Notes: The Little Red Hen
>> Love, Logic & Spider-man Shoes

Class Notes - Thursday, October 2, 2008

** One of the best quotes I have heard from someone sharing what happened when using Love & Logic with their children: After repeatedly using the “I know” empathetic response, the 4 year old says, “I know you know but I don’t know.”
** The goal is to create kids with a voice in their head that wonders about the consequences of their actions (before acting) and envisions how it will affect themselves and others.
** Going brain dead and saying something like “Oh” when there’s misbehavior allows some stalling before you must respond plus gives you time to say to yourself, “Don’t say what I want to say.”
** Every time we use empathy; we teach it. Empathy is contagious, which means our kids will grow up to be empathetic.

** The “E” principles of Love & Logic:
>>Example – kids learn from our example not our lectures
>>Experiences – allow children to experience affordable mistakes early in life rather than later in life when mistakes aren’t as affordable
>>Empathy – allow children to make mistakes and then show them that you understand that it hurts, is crummy, etc.

** Sending a child to their room after just an “Uh oh” teaches them that there is a response, no repeated warnings, gives them time to have a fit and cool off, and then realize they’d rather be with the family.


Jesus Notes: When Lack of Faith was Affordable
You can see in the Gospels that as Jesus taught the disciples there were times when He was allowing them to make affordable mistakes. Namely, He let them make mistakes while He was still around to teach and keep them safe.

When Jesus walks on the water out to the disciples in a boat, Peter asks to come out to Him. So Jesus tells Peter to come out and walk on the water to Him. Peter does so, but when Peter sees the waves, he gets afraid. He starts to sink and shouts, “Lord, save me!” Jesus caught him and said, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?” Jesus and Peter climb into the boat, and the wind and waves calmed down. Peter and the disciples then said, “Truly You are the Son of God!” (Matthew 14:22-33)

Here was an affordable mistake. Jesus probably knew that Peter’s faith wasn’t strong enough to truly believe that Jesus was going to make it possible for him to walk on water. Yet, Jesus let Peter try and make the mistake of losing faith in a situation where Jesus could keep him safe and a situation which wasn’t a matter of salvation.

Jesus Notes: Teaching Faith by Example
A synagogue ruler named Jairus comes to Jesus saying, “My little daughter is dying. Please come and put Your hands on her so that she will be healed and live.” So Jesus goes with Him. However, on the way, He’s interrupted by a crowd and a woman seeking to be healed. Meanwhile, some men came from Jairus’ house to say that the daughter had died. They say, “Why bother the teacher anymore?”—-meaning, “Might as well send Jesus home.”

Before Jairus can agree with the men, Jesus teaches faith by example when He says, “Don’t be afraid; just believe.”

So they travel to Jairus’ house where they find everyone crying and wailing, mourning the dead daughter. Again, Jesus teaches faith by example and ignores what’s going on. He says, “She’s not dead but asleep.” He goes to the child’s room, wakes her up, and brings her out to be with everyone.

If Jairus watched everyone else, he would’ve lost hope. If he watched Jesus, he would’ve learned by example what it means to have faith and trust in God.

Jesus Notes: Brain Dead at Trial
Perhaps it’s not the right way to think about one of the most important moments of salvation history, but it seems like Jesus went brain dead while in front of Pontius Pilate. Now Jesus stood before the governor, and the governor asked him, "Are you the King of the Jews?" Jesus said, "You have said so." [12] But when he was accused by the chief priests and elders, he gave no answer. [13] Then Pilate said to him, "Do you not hear how many things they testify against you?" [14] But he gave him no answer, not even to a single charge, so that the governor was greatly amazed. (Matthew 27:11-14, ESV) The more Pilate challenged Jesus, the less Jesus said. Jesus realized that a lecture wasn’t going to work on Pilate, King Heord, or the Jewish leaders who wanted Him dead. So instead, He said very little. Pilate in the end seemed befuddled by Jesus, but it’s clear that Jesus loved him (and us) too much to argue.

Aesop Notes: The Little Red Hen
In leading a Bible study about Matthew, I compared a series of parables of Jesus with Aesop’s fable, “The Little Red Hen.” If you’re curious on how there could be connection between Jesus and the Hen, click here.

Reading the fable, I realized that I think Little Red Hen uses Love & Logic. See if you agree with me that she remains calm in her answers; allows the cat, goose, and rat to make an affordable mistake; and locks in the empathy before explaining the consequences.

Little Red Hen found a grain of wheat. "Who will plant this?" she asked. "Not I," said the cat. "Not I," said the goose. "Not I," said the rat. "Then I will," said Little Red Hen.

So she buried the wheat in the ground. After a while it grew up yellow and ripe. "The wheat is ripe now," said Little Red Hen. "Who will cut and thresh it?" "Not I," said the cat. "Not I," said the goose. "Not I," said the rat. "Then I will," said Little Red Hen.

So she cut it with her bill and threshed it with her wings. Then she asked, "Who will take this wheat to the mill?" "Not I," said the cat. "Not I," said the goose. "Not I," said the rat. "Then I will," said Little Red Hen.

So she took the wheat to the mill, where it was ground. Then she carried the flour home. "Who will make me some bread from this flour?" she asked. "Not I," said the cat. "Not I," said the goose. "Not I," said the rat. "Then I will," said Little Red Hen.

So she made and baked the bread. Then she said, "Now we shall see who will eat this bread." "We will," said cat, goose, and rat. "I am quite sure you would," said Little Red Hen, "if you could get it." Then she called her chicks, and they ate up all the bread. There was none left at all for the cat, or the goose, or the rat.

If Little Red Hen is using Love & Logic, that means Aesop (mid-6th century BC) developed this concept long before Jim and Charles. I think they should give Aesop some credit!

Love, Logic, & Spider-man Shoes

Our friend, Emily Dunbar, is way ahead of me on this Love & Logic parenting stuff, and in a great post to her Website, Dunbar, Nebraska, she recounts an example of using Love & Logic in a good way while also admitting how tough it is to do it. Go here to read the story.