Class Notes from Thursday, September 18

In today's posting:
>> Class Notes
>> Jesus Notes: Limits
>> Jesus Notes: Locking in the Empathy

Class Notes – Thursday, September 18, 2008

These are just some of the phrases and concepts that really jumped out at me from the first module. While it would be correct to properly give credit and sources for each quote, I'm afraid I'm not that meticulous about who on video said certain things, or whether it was from written materials. Forgive me.

These are also in no particular order.

** Adults take care of themselves by providing limits in a loving way.
** Limits on children on maintained with compassion, understanding, and empathy.
** The adult's empathy is "locked in" before the consequences are applied.
** Are we ruining a child's psyche if we make her upset--or does a child's psyche suffer more damage by training her to have no limits?
** That look of love and security in a child's face when they know the limits, knowing that a parent loves them enough to set limits. (I've seen this myself, and maybe would call it the "The Discovery of a Rule," where my child's face lights up when he can repeat back to us the rule we just taught him. He seems proud to keep telling us that he can't touch a hot stove).

Jesus Notes: Limits
It's interesting how many times people reject Christianity, because it doesn’t sound loving that God would have so many rules or that God actually punishes people for sinning (doing bad things). Yet, here in this parenting course, we realize that children do much better in life if parents set limits—providing those limits in a loving way, of course.

If this works in parenting, certainly it works in the big picture of God parenting His Creation. God doesn’t set limits on us because He’s a mean ogre; He sets limits because He knows that His way would be the best for us. He provides His limits in a loving way—telling us of His love, care, forgiveness for mistakes, His undying commitment to us.

Jesus Notes: Locking in the Empathy
As the first module discussed “locking in” the empathy before delivering the consequences, I couldn’t help but to see Jesus in this model for parenting. Yes, we don’t have any examples of Jesus parenting children (or even disciplining children), but the way He often dealt with people was that empathetic response followed by the consequences.

One such instance was with a woman in John chapter 4. Jesus offered the woman the hope of eternal life, showed compassion and care for her, before He led her to confess her sins. The empathy was locked in, because she went away from the conversation rejoicing about meeting Jesus. She wasn’t crushed; she wasn’t embarrassed; she didn’t say Jesus was judgmental. She rejoiced that He knew her sin, but He still had offered her “living water,” the hope of life after death through the Messiah, Him.

You can read my sermon about this story by going to my sermon site (John 4:5-26,28-30,39-42).

Just as it is important for our empathy to be clearly experienced by our children before they hear the consequences for their misbehavior, so it is important that we see that the Gospel of Jesus is true and real forgiveness that isn’t destroyed by our sins. There are consequences for our sins, but love and forgiveness is locked in God’s heart of hearts.